Color Code to my Heart
So…I made a bordom-fueled random discovery today: whether I say yes or no to a favor coincides heavily with what I happen to be wearing. The rational side of my mind says that I just choose outfits to match my mood, so this makes sense…but the other parts of my mind like to think of it as a weird little piece in the puzzle of the universe.
The code, of course:
Blue: I will say yes to just about anything.
Red: There is almost no chance of getting me to do what you want.
Black: I choose haphazardly.
Brown: I choose based on how reasonable and important the request is.
Green: I will choose whichever answer will make you most likely to leave me alone.
Orange: I am likely to say yes…but there’s a 99% chance that I don’t really mean it.
Purple: I’m likely to change the subject before you even ask.
White: I will probably say no, feel bad about it, and then begrudgingly say yes.
Pink: I very rarely wear pink and I don’t think anyone has ever asked me for a favor while I’ve been wearing it.
Yellow: Universe implodes.
Ok…the world doesn’t really implode…just my sense of happiness and self-respect. Yellow clashes horribly with my complexion and I can count on one hand the number of times I have worn it in my life.
It’s Resolution Time, Again.
Over the last week or so, I’ve spent a good deal of time thinking about all the ways my life has changed over the years. Some of those changes were my doing, and others definitely qualify as surprises. Either way, I was somewhat blind-sided this afternoon when I realized that many of the ways I’ve categorized myself over the years are just…incorrect.
For example, I used to define myself as a woman who worked for my own goals without restraint or sympathy for anything that stood in my path. Sure, I wanted to be a doctor, and I’d done more than my share of charity work, but deep down I never believed that I was a good person. I was blunt, and selfish. At least, those are the words that I always associated with myself. To me, being a nice person was never something to be proud of. It meant that someone could walk all over you, or that you weren’t being clever or passionate enough. I always wanted to believe that I was clever and strong - so I never chose to believe that I was nice.
Somehow, somewhere along the line, something changed. I stopped caring about image or money, and I actually became thankful for everything that I have - and everything that I have the potential to do with my life.
I always prided myself on how well I understood who I was. Today, I realized that I don’t know myself as well as I thought I did.
I think it’s only fitting that, this year, I resolve to change all of that. This year, I want to strip off all of the definitions I have crafted for myself and start over - and this is how:
1) I will not say sarcastic or borderline-mean things out of sheer habit. At the risk of sounding cliche, I will think before I speak.
2) I will really respect the person I am, by better respecting my health. I love my life and I don’t want it to end until it absolutely has to. I will go to the dojo on my spare evenings. I will finally take up the Portland habit of eating local, organic food. I will not smoke when I drink. I will not drink unless I am celebrating something.
3) I cannot respect my body without respecting my mind, so I will make time for my mental health. I will start writing again. I will go back to the gardens when I study. I will meditate before I wake up in the morning. I will make more time to spend with my new friends, and talk with my old ones. Hopefully, I’ll learn something along the way.
4) I will get rid of all of the materialistic clutter. I will finally donate my old clothes to those who need them more than I do. I will open a savings account and I will use it.
5) I will not waste time. When I have an afternoon alone, I will use it to learn or see something new.
6) I will travel again. I have always learned the most about myself when I am alone in a strange place. I will put myself in that situation as many times as possible in 2010 - preferably outside of US borders.
I’ve just found the next trick to teach the dog…
My roommate is made of awesome
- Nikki (via text): "Are you at school still? I think there's a mouse stuck in our garbage can and I don't have the guts to pick it up...so, yeah. Definitely mice you were hearing in the walls."
- Nikki (via text, 5 min later): "Nevermind. I just threw the whole garbage can away."
Ad placement HILARITY!
(Thank you failblog.org!)
This is logo of my Kung Fu style. It’s amazing how finding the right thing can always bring you balance and relief.
Rules for Being Human
1. You will receive a body. You may like it or hate it, but it’s the only thing you are sure to keep for the rest of your life.
2. You will learn lessons. You are enrolled in a full-time informal school called “Life on Planet Earth”. Every person or incident is the Universal Teacher.
3. There are no mistakes, only lessons. Growth is a process of experimentation. “Failures” are as much a part of the process as “success.”
4. A lesson is repeated until learned. It is presented to you in various forms until you learn it — then you can go on to the next lesson.
5. If you don’t learn easy lessons, they get harder. External problems are a precise reflection of your internal state. When you clear inner obstructions, your outside world changes. Pain is how the universe gets your attention.
6. You will know you’ve learned a lesson when your actions change. Wisdom is practice. A little of something is better than a lot of nothing.
7. “There” is no better than “here”. When your “there” becomes a “here” you will simply obtain another “there” that again looks better than “here.”
8. Others are only mirrors of you. You cannot love or hate something about another unless it reflects something you love or hate in yourself.
9. Your life is up to you. Life provides the canvas; you do the painting. Take charge of your life — or someone else will.
10. You always get what you want. Your subconscious rightfully determines what energies, experiences, and people you attract — therefore, the only foolproof way to know what you want is to see what you have. There are no victims, only students.
11. There is no right or wrong, but there are consequences. Moralizing doesn’t help. Judgments only hold the patterns in place. Just do your best.
12. Your answers lie inside you. Children need guidance from others; as we mature, we trust our hearts, where the Laws of Spirit are written. You know more than you have heard or read or been told. All you need to do is to look, listen, and trust.
13. You will forget all this.
14. You can remember any time you wish.